Is This A Sign??

I cried today. Ha big deal right. But guess where did i cry.... City Harvest. Couldnt believe it myself too when tears kept rolling in my eyes towards the end of the service. It was a fantastic experience. Much better than the time when mav took me to his church. Was just accompanying ahli and eujean to go to the service, so mood was rather happy go lucky and heck care, thought i wont get involved too deeply even if i went to it.

Oh boy i was darn wrong. Haha...

From, tonight, i came to understand WHY it is so called the most popular and biggest church in S'pore. Everything in there was just so overwhelming. The place, the people, the music and songs, the pastor, their speeches. Everything. I put on a strong front intially (for godsake duno y too...) and was acting as if the church was no big deal and it will be just another service which i wont "appreciate" again. But to my surprise it wasn't so. I duno what had gotten into me but honestly i was taken aback when thousands of people started to mutter wierd language known as the "tongue language" all around me, even if ahli had warned me in prior to this matter le. I could sense their very STRONG faith in god, and the love they had for HIM every moment throughout the service and i came to have this urge to understand why can they devote themselves totally to a "thing" that they couldnt see or touch. Very curious indeed. Wanted to know how did HIM come into the lives of each of the thousands of christians there.

The whole place seems like a super grand concert, with the fast songs known as "Praises" for HIM and the slow ones as "Worship".songs to HIM. People were practically mersmerized by the songs and all hands were raised up high in the air as a form of surrender to HIM. The pastor for today was good, even if he is new as a speaker here. Many thinkings went through my mind when he lectured/preached on the topic of today- "Our Goals and Needs", and introduced many interesting examples in our daily lives so as to teach us to achieve our goals in life. I shall say his speech was VERY inspiring! Nice~

Towards the ending when one of the slow songs was repeated again and everybody who knew the tongue language started to mutter and pray, i felt very touched by the words of the song. Duno y but intially when the song was played i felt nothing. But during the 2nd time i really do feel something. I started crying. Duno issit the whole atmosphere or issit just me but i just couldnt control. I wanted to stop coz i feel its damn embarrassing to admit that I, someone who thought that she will never believe in Christianity, HAD CRIED IN A SERVICE. But strangely, i just couldnt. And especially when the pastor told us to clench on to our neighbours' hands and to help pray for their well-being and loved by God, ahli and my new friend yingying hold my hands so tightly, i felt really really touched...and cried even harder..haiz.. First time i felt that Love can be so unselfish leh. =) Saw zhiwei and he seems really delighted to see me there too. Was msging me when we splitted telling me i must go back there again.. Heez i think i will la...

Tonight was a wonderful experience for me. Felt peace from it. And i was glad about that. And i duno whether was it coincidence or not but i received some bad news while i was attending the service and ahli told me to pray to HIM. I did. Shortly after i left the church, the problem was solved. Woah okok i know. It might be only a coincidence. But what if it's not? What if my prayer to HIM was really answered?

I duno is this a new start, a beginning for me or an illusion. One service is definitely not enough to feel HIS presence (if he really does exist!). So, i think i will go back again and see how everything goes... I do need some spiritual support for now. *confused*