Soulmate

Hrmm been thinking a lot recently. Wonder y my life's so screwed up. But well, think i deserve it in a way. Anyway wanna thkx Jake, Michael, Gilbert, Jim. Alex, Alvin, Wayne, Victor, Mike, Paul, Mohd, Alan, and the remaining few for even not allowing u to have the chance to know me better. Thkx for spicing up my life for this past 1 and a half mth. Ha and thkx for letting me know/feel im worthy enough to have someone better. Especially Jake. Thkx for letting me grow up. Thkx for teaching me "stuffs" that im alwiz curious about. Yap i shld know that we aint compatible at all at the start liao. But duno y i let myself continue, hoping something can come out from it. Huh wat a foolish me. Shldnt be that naive. The world out there suddenly seems so big to me. A lonely girl without any protection who hopes to wander into this world is definitely a dangerous thing to do. Ya of coz i admit i wan myself a bf, badly. But seeing all these things, its juz seems so superficial. And it aint difficult to get urself a bf. Not at all. Some r even dying to be urs. But the thing is, ask urself. Do u really wan a bf only? So as to at least in ur "record" u can say "ya i did have one/two b4". At least better than telling ppl that u never had one, and feeling damn embarassed bout it? Ha..spot on..This is exactly hw i felt b4. Ppl can never understand the feeling of staying unattached til now, even if they are currenty single. It's juz different. Anyway thankfully, my mindset did change. Yes i wan a bf. But i wan a soulmate too. And THAT's more impt. And finding a soulmate needs time. Its not a fren, not a fling, not someone u can get physical with..(i mean there are plenty of guys, or i shall call "beasts" who wanna get physical with u!) but rather, someone who u can really connect with, understanding u AS MUCH as u understanding him. And with sufficient chemistry, love will grow, til u decided that he is THE ONE who u gonna marry and devote ur entire life to him. But guess i'll still get hurt along the way. Its juz me. Dare to fall despite the risk of getting hurt...hee

And another thing. Are u holding onto someone now? Despite u feel that he/she might not be the one? And u are juz scared that if u let him/her go, u wld never be able to get urself another person again? And that u will be lonely for the rest of ur life... Well i can juz say if time is up for u to part, there is no point in holding on. It will juz make ur life more miserable. God will see to it. He wont let u feel lonely.

But anyway...life is still exciting. As i say, dun cramp urself in ur little box. Go out, and have a life. Sometimes, ur own Happiness is not far from u u noe. Its juz that u didnt have the courage to hold out ur hand and grab it. Be bold! Cheers to everyone.....*wink*