My Life, Your Story.

Alone in hall now. Wen had gone back, n i'd decided to stay 4 the sake of tml's impresario.. Haiz wat a boring night. Somemore hp spoilt so cant talk crap wif frenz, like wat i alwiz did wheneva im bored alone in hall. =( Nvm~ heng i still got my this darling, tv and the book tt li had lent me to read. Guess i'll be able to finish it later.

Wonder wats everyone's doing. Wonder wat he is doing.. These few days had been hectic 4 me.. Presentations, tutorials, reports, n learning jap. Haiz not easy. Finally now have the time to relax a bit. But hrmm duno y im feeling a bit empty now. This hard-to-explain emptiness in me.. haiz maybe its better to have stuffs to do. At least u wont have the time to think, and start Hu2 Si1 Luan4 Xiang3 right? ha..

Met up wif joy tis afternoon 4 lunch. So glad to c her again. Missed her so much~ Felt damn guilty to miss her bdae party, esp aft knowing how much she wished i was there. Haiz wat to say? "Im sorry girl." =( Anyway she commented that i seems much more matured than the last time she saw me at my bdae.. haha was happy to hear tt. Did i? I duno.. Juz know many things had happened within these few short mths. My views about many things had changed too. Relationships, friends..and yap of coz..religion..

Ha great im thinking about God and here came Pastor Sun's song on 93.3. Haha coincidence? *shrug* li said although i claimed that i haven felt Him yet, my spirit actually did liao, but juz w/o me knowing. I juz know i felt peaceful, happy and being loved after service. Told Js bout it and he actually told me that 3 of the gifts of the Holy Spirit were Love, Joy and Peace. haha coincidence again? *shrug* and last night i actually went on an online debate wif tis net fren regarding "christianity" and the purpose of "gg to church". He had a sharp tongue, and rebuked me til i duno wat to say. I cant seem to have answers to his criticisms and skeptical views towards CHC at that moment. Felt bad too coz i feel that i cldnt defend Jesus in a way. But know wat?? ALL criticisms my net fren had were ALL being addressed by Pastor Ulf during his conference today. His talk gave me so much power i nearly cldnt control myself and wanna shout back to tt net fren immediately telling ALL his criticisms were bullshit.. Is it God who heard my doubts that arose from the criticisms last night and thus today thru Pastor Ulf, had my questions answered and doubts cleared? Haha another coincidence again? U decide urself. I think i've known the answer.

Anyway juz wanna say acknowledging God's presence, meaning knowing He is there, is not enough. Dun juz seek him whenever u need help, and hope that He can solve ur problems and bless u. He may, of coz, since he is ever-loving. But love is NOT one-way. It is a two-way thingy. U have to reciprocate the love that He has for u, back to Him, and willing to devote to Him totally and promise to serve HIm with ALL ur life. In return, he will give u more than u wan. Really more. In this way, u then will be really considered "saved". And u will follow his teachings and u will want to glorify him in all the ways u can possibly think of.

Some ppl dun like Christianity coz they feel Christians push and preach too much to them, making them back away. But u noe wat? This is the way. Satan will ONLY be banished to Hell (and according to them, Satan is not in Hell. He is on Earth, ard us, together wif all his evil followers, to make us sin) when all ppl on Earth follow the light..follow God. This is the pledge that God had made with Satan long ago. U cant blame them for being perservere la. But Pastor Ulf did mentioned yesterday that preaching will be hard. It is a tough road. However it is the only route. But he told us not to be pushy. Be a "light" among non-believers instead. Guide them til they see the truth. Satan will forbid them to see it. But juz rem, nothing is impossible with God. Faith is everything. And also, Jesus wont beg ppl to follow him! He wont say "please please follow me..and i'll bless wif u lots of gifts!" Haa sounds funny right? Yap exactly, its funny. Jesus will only say "Follow me", like it is the most obvious thing to do. Anyway think THe Passion will capture this. Let's juz wait for the movie huh...*wink*

Ok think im gg a bit too much. Juz feel like sharing few views as a non-christian for now, and a bit of wat i'd learnt til now.. Guess for now, im juz a "believer", only acknowledging His presence...prayed to Him whenever i needed help only. I still haven come to love him, and ready to submit myself totally to Him, giving Him my whole life, serving Him and doing things tt He wants me to do. It's a one-way relationship for now i guess. He loves me but i dun. But its ok i think... I will take my time to discover la.... =)

Hrmm im feeling much better now.. Haha as compared to when i started this entry.. Hee~ Ok i shall go read up tt book liao.......

God Bless ~ (and it doesnt mean tt U dun have to do anything arh...Laziness is not wat He wanna give u..haha =P) cheers...