sick and tired..

Today is a bad day, despite i bought my bikinis.. Ok well it doesnt link yeah. A big problem left for me yet to be resolved. Something tt im really sick of. Sometimes im wondering how nice would it be if everyone's gd frenz wif one another, bearing no grudges or whatsoever.. and back to the past when we were pure and innocent, and having great buddies around who u though tt it'll gonna last forever till the day U DIE. Ha sounds kinda childish huh? Yeah it does. Was wondering am i a good fren to start with? I duno y but juz felt that conflicts tend to arise easily recently bet frenz and i. Am i too insensitive? An im too tactless? Do i tend to neglect feelings of some of my frenz, and thus, hurt them in the end? hey, i got hurt too. Especially after what happened today. Am really tired le.. really wish to juz leave everything as they are.. and dun touch them, til they heal themselves. Is this a gd choice? Or shld i be proactive, like wat i normally do, goes straight down to the point, target tt problem and try to solve it?? I duno.. i really duno. Tired and sick. Cant humans be less complicated. Cant I MYSELF be less complex too.. arhhh sick. And wonder wats the problem with my mum!! Sometimes i REALLY cant understand her. Not at all. She is like some freaky atomic bomb walking ard and once u press the wrong button, THAT'S IT MAN. But oh well, maybe she had been like THIS for duno how many years liao, juz tt recently it juz suddenly irriates me. And i am REALLY THINKING that does my lack of confidence and low self-esteem have anything to do with her. I think there is a HUGE link man. I mean, isn't it good to know that ur daughter is making progress in whatever stuffs she is doing now! And wat she does is to everyday tell me how FAT i really am, stop wearing those exposed clothes and short skirts.. blah blah blah.. and the bikinis.. she criticise til siao lor. Kaoz. Wats the problem wif her man? Reminded me of this incident when i went out late with a fren couple of yrs back and she was telling me to protect tt fren of mine frm perverts or wat, and rem to send her back home. Den i asked "how bout me? u not worried abt me meh?" Know what she said? "Aiya dun worry.. no pervert will wanna come after u one.." What is this??? Is this wat a mother will warn her daughter?? I couldnt believe it lor. And instead of encouraging me, her sacarstic remarks were horrible. So what if she meant them as jokes? I don't lor. How would i know whether she is speaking the truth or joking??!! For a young teenager girl to thus constantly think that she is fat and ugly and useless and the only thing to excel is thru studies. Wat crapz.. Its really saddening.. and torturing.. is this wat she had done to me to get me to Uni? Wateva.. damn sick of everything.